WASHINGTON, DC — At a public briefing on Thursday (February 15), Pentagon spokesperson Gen. Patrick S. Ryder expressed the US military’s satisfaction so far with superstar Taylor Swift’s performance as part of the plot to influence the 2024 US presidential elections.
“Taylor is simply amazing,” Ryder said. “All we can say to her is: nice work, keep it up.”
When pressed as to what she is actually doing for the US military, Ryder demurred.
“Current operations are not discussed as a matter of policy,” he said.

Conner Thompson has been covering US politics from Washington DC for several years. He’s serious, self absorbed, and has yet to settle on a gender identity or sexual orientation.