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Victims of the new public stoning law include women accused of adultery, women who get abortions, and generally any women who talks back to a man in public.
With humanitarian aid all but halted due to Israeli intransigence and US bumbling, Gazans have come up with a new way to avoid starvation: trash burgers. Some are even using their own blood as a condiment.
Starving Gaza revelers were going wild during a rendition of "Space Oddity" by David Bowie when the stage fell into the sea.
The US military's aim of distraction was a hit on the first night, with even Hamas militants joining the fun amid Israeli airstrikes in the background.
Observers are worried some will take the move as a license to shoot 'yappy pieces of shit' in their neighborhoods, rather than limiting the slayings to their own dogs.
The bill, named "Make Congress Great Again", proposes that Greene be removed from office immediately on the grounds of needing a win on something. "She's a great uniter," Trump said upon hearing the news.
The queer community threatened to add another category onto its ever expanding acronym list unless the media focused attention away from the 'petty problems' of Israel and Hamas. Black Lives Matter decided to join the unprecedented lawsuit.