Home Culture Alabama institutes public stoning in bid to outdo Louisiana Ten Commandments law

Alabama institutes public stoning in bid to outdo Louisiana Ten Commandments law

Victims of the new public stoning law include women accused of adultery, women who get abortions, and generally any women who talks back to a man in public.

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People gathered in Alabama to celebrate passage of public stoning law.

MOBILE — Not to be outdone by neighboring Louisiana’s recent law making it mandatory for all school classrooms to display the Ten Commandments, Alabama today instituted public stoning as an official punishment for certain offenses.

The Alabama governor signed a bill that empowers local officials to dig large pits in community parks and land, and throw accused people into before they are killed by rock-wielding mobs.

“There is no way Louisiana is going to take the mantle of the Christian far-right,” said governor Kay Ivey during the signing ceremony.

Victims of the new public stoning law include women accused of adultery, women who get abortions, and generally any women who talks back to a man in public.

When asked by reporters how this was different from the extreme Islamist interpretations of the Koran that the Taliban in Afghanistan carried out, Ivey left without answering.

Rabid supporters of the new bill celebrated by digging an enormous hole in front of the state capitol and searching for suspicious looking women on the streets.

“We are finally going to clean this state of filthy bitches,” said Rhet Greene of Mobile.

A recently signed bill makes Louisiana the only US state to require that the Ten Commandments be displayed in every classroom in public schools and colleges.

Some analysts say the feud also relates to the ongoing college football rivalry between LSU and the University of Alabama.

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